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Tuesday, January 20, 2004 []
moved.
Please relink.
x 12:16 AM
Sunday, January 18, 2004 []
The Final Goodbye
I've been far too naive, far too sentimental, far too shallow.
Life is no longer a bed of roses to me so to hell with this blog.
Don't worry (and it's as if you care), I am perfectly fine.
I am just growing up.
It's painful.
x 6:06 AM
Thursday, January 15, 2004 []
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The girl sits in the train, feeling like she's going to die any moment. She messages the boy, and feels even worse after that. She keeps mum about, because she knows that he is having a great time with his pals.
She doesn't reply his SMS, hoping that he will call and ask if she's fine. The phonecall never comes. She cries. The physical and emotional pain is too much for her to take.
He calls her at last. She is elated. They talk, and the nightmare begins. He is upset because she isn't listening. For the first time, she hears his frustration turn into tears. He says, "I'm fine.", but she knows something is terribly wrong. She is so disappointed. With herself.
This is a habit she must kick.
For?
The love of her life.
x 11:53 PM
Read between the lines
I just found a few more reasons to turn lesbian.
Hey Britney.
I need a man to take care of me when I'm sick, bring me warm water, kiss me on my forehead, stroke my hair, tell me that I'll be fine and that he loves me.
F, I think I'm asking for too much.
Met up with Lei Ya just now. Have never been more glad in my life. Just hugged and kissed her. Missed her so damned much. Thanks, girlfriend. I love you. :)
Bought myself the wallet, finally.
Now please excuse me, while I go cry my eyes out cos Panadol is f-ing useless.
Being independent is a good thing.
x 9:31 PM
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I'll be hitting town soon, armed with the generous 80 bucks my mum gave me to get my top, shoes, and did I mention I won't be getting my allowance this week? So basically, I have got a grand total of 80 buckeroos to live on this week.
Oh, and my mum just went for a facial, and my sis blew 200+ on her CNY clotheS. I emphasize the 'S' cos I am only going to get ONE set.
My birthday's coming soon. I hope my parents get me something nice. It has been years since last got me a birthday present.
I hate feeling useless. I shall go look for a job now.
x 1:00 PM
Wednesday, January 14, 2004 []
Glass Doll
I should think with my head more than my heart.
Hmm.
One more month to my birthday.
x 10:21 PM
You know I'll walk a thousand miles
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you tonight
At long last, I moved my fat ass to the gym this afternoon. Did 2.4 on the treadmill and let's just say that I am still able to get a decent pass. That's a consolation, considering the fact that I haven't exercised for the last two months or so. Eons since I sweat it out and boy do I miss that feeling.
While I was jogging, I was thinking about what Broken Toe said to me yesterday. "You are so shallow, so naive and only look at the surface of things. Too nice sometimes. You seem like those innocent little girls whom guys take for a ride." It's bothering me. Afterall, it's not like I've not been hurt before. Shrugs.
Anyway, I took the stairs home again, had a hot shower, made myself an egg sandwich and tea for lunch and finished my McDonald's book. As much as I'll not like to admit, that bastard's one smart ass and probably Lady Luck's best friend. (Oh, if you're interested, he re-married twice.)
I've never felt so rejuvenated in my life.
I feel so at peace with myself.
I feel good.
:)
[insert]
I took the stairs down and realised that I am still plagued by the phobia. I don't think I can ever overcome it. Oh well.
[/insert]
x 5:55 PM
Tuesday, January 13, 2004 []
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The name of the Internet's most popular directory, is an acronym. According to the company, the name "Yahoo" stands for "Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle." Do you Yahoo?
I am bored.
Your soul is bound to the Rose Petals: The Wronged. "I've come undone and all hopes of mending me are gone because the pain took my soul. Can't you see? The only one who can put me back together again is me." The Rose Petals are associated with sorrow, reflection, and wisdom. They are governed by the goddess Persephone and their sign is The Teardrop, or Broken Love.
As a Rose Petal, you are always self-reflective and may be hard on yourself. You probably have been hurt in the past by other people and can sometimes distance yourself, as a result. You don't usually let other get too close to you, but you are very good at mending your spirits back together by yourself.
What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
Your soulmate is the current love of your
life! Congrats, i wish everyone had it that
easy!
Who's Your Soulmate?
A true dark horse!
Which Journal Site Are You?
Japanese or Korean
What Language Are You?
You are Chanel!
What (non drugstore) Makeup Brand Are You?
You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.
What kind of kiss are you?
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud.
Which happy bunny are you?
You are like majority of the people in today's
society. You probably like the latest trends,
not because they are considered cool; just
because you like them. Continue being you,
people like you for it.
A Deeper Look Inside Yourself
My inner child is sixteen years old!
Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.
How Old is Your Inner Child?
You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
places. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
Babie's laughter: Warm, kind and loving; a baby's
laugh represents you. You are very innocent and
enjoy the simple things in life. You are
probably very good with children and have a
positive, happy soul.
What Sound Are You?
You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.
What Type of Soul Do You Have?
What Snack Food are You?
You like to feel what the other
person is feeling and see things how they see
them. You tend to be serious and emotional.
What Sign of Affection Are You?
Congratulations!! You're a smart sophisticated and
beautiful martini!!
What Drink Are You?
Wondering eyes. Your not quite focused and
your quite the day dreamer. Your a bit odd and
as many say "Your head is in the
clouds."
What type of eyes do you have?
You're chocolate. You're the old soul type, people
feel that they have known you their entire
life. Many often open up to you for they view
you as thoughtful and trustworthy. Although
people trust you, you have a hard time trusting
them. You prefer to keep your feelings bottled
up inside, or display them very quietly. It is
alright to open up every once in a while.
Which kind of candy are you?
x 10:49 PM
26 Things That A Perfect Guy Would Do
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down.
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
6. Play with your hair.
7. His hands always find yours.
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
11. Never run out of love.
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
16. Smile a lot.
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.
18. Appreciate you.
19. Help others out.
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1 hr.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching.
22. Sing, even if he can't.
23. Have a creative sense of humor.
24. Stare at you.
25. Call for no reason.
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just because he loves you that much to quit it.
I've cut my nails. It's PCK time! :)
x 7:46 PM
Up, up and above!
What Drink Are You?
Just got home from a baking session (haha) at Broken Toe's (name derived for easier identification, haha) place. And I climbed 14 storeys back home barefooted. I miss panting and perspiring. Maybe I should go to the gym more often. Dad has been complaining about us not fully utilising the facilities.
Oh well.
I'd better pack my room later or Mum's just going to rip me apart.
[insert]
Dad's other friend saw me outside with a guy last night and called him again. Without a doubt my mum called and screamed at me. WTH. My dad must be thinking I'm a major flirt now. (I digress, 2 guys called me when I was at Broken Toe's place and I was being accused of two-timing my boyfriend. Get a life. I just so happen to get along better with guys, and I DO have many girl friends too so SUE ME.) Excellent. People just have nothing better to do but to disrupt the peace in my household.
[/insert]
I think today's going to be a beautiful day.
Oh, I need to cut my nails.
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got 'til it's gone
They paved paradise, and put up a parking lot
x 7:01 PM
Monday, January 12, 2004 []
:)
Will be crashing NYJC this friday!!! I'm so excited! No, definitely NOT because it's NY, but because I'll be in my SN uniform again! YAY!!!!!
I miss wearing my uniform. I miss complaining about my high belt. I miss wearing socks. I miss dreading to tie my hair. I miss my pinafore. I miss being able to sit with my legs wide open and not zao geng. I miss re-arranging the plaits. I miss everything about my uniform! Plus, no tie, no name tag, no monitor badge, no white shoes this time! AND I will lower and loosen my belt. Wheeeeeeeee.
I should sound less childish. But what the h*ll, I miss my uniform!
The plan: Meet Charlene at Bugis (she wants to go to Guan Yin Temple, you see), then we go down to Plaza Singapura to get her hair cut, then we travel back to NY.
I hope I'll meet my SN friends.
Anyway, Charlene and I both decided that we'll cut/treat our hair in Feb. Yay, then I'll look pretty on my birthday!
I can't wait, I am going to be SEVENTEEN soon!
LOL, I think I need sleep.
x 2:13 AM
Sunday, January 11, 2004 []
"No.. I wanted to hear your voice.."
Hello world. I'm having instant mee with lots and lots of veg. Good change from all the sinful indulgences for the past few days. And this is all I am going to eat today.
Oh, have I mentioned? I just woke up. :)
I decided not to go shopping with Mum and Sis cos I know that we'll be walking round and round Suntec and end up with nothing again. Plus, it's raining. Perfect for sleeping in and snuggling up to my bolster. :)
It feels good to be home alone. I can spend some quality time with myself, apply that facial mask, get my life organised again, blast the music, walk around the house without a bra, you get the idea. But no, you didn't have to know that.
Jackie msg-ed me and told me that she heard that I am going to poly. News sure spread fast and far man.
I guess we all grow up after graduating from Secondary school. It feels great being able put all the bad blood behind and talk to someone you thought never possible. It just makes me feel so petty and childish back then. But oh hell, I still refuse to grow out of school rivalry. C*d*r still sucks, major time.
Got this forwarded e-mail from Ming Hui (thanks, fellow ming! :)). I wanted to highlight the keypoints and put it up here, but hell was I freaked by the accuracy for the article. (I even checked out my darling's. It's scarily true.) Will forward the mail to a few close friends. So if you get it, you know you are special to me. :)
Here goes:
AQUARIUS WOMAN
If you are in love with a woman in this zodiac be prepared to be very happy
or be very sorry. She is a very busy person with her own matters similar to
a guy in this zodiac. She is able to live by herself without any guy in her
life, a very strong person indeed.
Not because she does not have a dream guy, but if she can not find such
person, so what. [I am glad I found mine, haha] Because she thinks she
could do anything that a man can do. She is a leader, a real confident type.
She likes to do things by herself, such as serving herself, opening the door
herself. Because she thinks waiting for a helping hand is a waste of time,
and she is not patient enough to wait around for that. If she starts to ask
you out, do not think she starts to flirt with you, but because she thinks
it is a waste of time to wait for you to be the one who asked.
She likes a COOL guy who sometime act like he is ignoring her, so he has a
chance to show him his own confident. She like to guess her man's reaction,
but at the same time she likes to has many men wanting her. She is a daring
type who could just do thing differently from other people in her same
society. She dare to fight for what she thinks belonged to her.
Even she acts confident she mostly feel lonely and alone. If she breaks up
with someone, she won't show any emotion even deep down inside pain and
agony. Not for long she will come back to be the cheery and merry person
again, because she looks at the world positively and has "Faith" in the word
"Love".
She has more men friends than women friends, so do not be a jealous type if
you date her. She could be slightly jealous, but she hates jealous guys. She
loves "Freedom" so before and after marriage , her freedom has to be the
same. She likes you to trust her, even if she does not trust you anyhow.
She likes to be the one who is "Right", so if you argue with her, let her
win if it is not a big deal for you in that subject. She is a straight
forward type, so if she does not love you anymore, she will just tell you
straight to your face. Her love and relationship are always real, so if she
say "It's over" be prepare to leave, she is not testing you. [But sometimes
I say things in a fit a anger, you know.]
She is not a vulnerable type, so do not have to worry about her, she will
survive by herself. If she is with you when you get sick, she will certainly
take care and look after you, even look after you mean "small loan".
Do not have secret with her, she hates it and it really can piss her badly. When
she is sad, be understanding. When she is happy, be happy with her, she likes
that.
You will not get bored with this type of girl. Someone who is close to her
will know that deep down beneath that confident and cold hearted person, she
is just as fragile as any woman. She is a fun and talkative person and she
likes to tease you. Do not let she talk alone, if you do she will leave.
She has many type of jobs because she believes what a man can do, she can too.
If you want her to work for you, forget it. When she is in love, she will just leave
her job in the day time just to come to see you, but not for long she will go back
to work seriously again. Prepare to live and love with a "Working Woman" then
you will be OK.
If she mad, find a shelter for the "Hurricane" is here! Her bad temper will
last very shortly though. She is not a revenge type and will not think of
"Pay Back" time.
Most people might think of her as "One of a guy", but in fact she is a 100% woman.
She is easily hurt, so be nice with her. If she really loves you, then you are lucky because
she is an honest, truthful and will never bore you. Understand that sometimes she
will be over confident and sometimes like to have power or act bossy.
x 5:31 PM
Food, Glorious Food
The ambience was marvellous, the food was more than just yummilicious (gawd the dessert was sinful), the service was excellent, the company was great, and the bill, self-explanatory. :)
Oh, and someone managed to get a raw sugar crystal into my bra (I was wearing a 'high-collar' top, wth). Bravo. I think he should become a thrower, a shooter, whatever. With his mouth, that is. LOL.
(Then again, why do all guys like to shoot ice, pizza, sugar, whatever they have in their mouths?)
I enjoyed dinner.
Thanks my dear. :)
I miss all the hugs and kisses I got back then in St Nicks. I guess I took all of them for granted all along. It's just so hard to get these now that I'm out of school. I want to see all my SN friends, hug them, give them big fat wet kisses and tell them how much I miss them. Someone please hug me. To all my friends at SN, thanks so much. *muack*
Oh, more shopping tomorrow. I feel like dying. Mummy and Mei Mei are just so fussy. =?
x 12:04 AM
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